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Danger Stranger Tactics That Are Surprising

Danger Stranger Tactics May Surprise You

The surprising part is that we all use Danger Stranger Tactics, not just with strangers but with each other and though this is mostly a good thing it's not always in a good way.

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Using some of these tactics does not necessarily mean that you are a bad person with bad intentions. In fact, if all of us didn't use some of these tactics sometimes it would be very difficult to make friends. The problem comes when people use these things and similar, in a more manipulative way; particularly against children.

We all have natural boundaries and despite the tendency of some parts of our society to paint Fear as a thing of evil, we need our boundaries and our Fear.

Fear As A “Frenemy”

I teach my students that fear is a “Frenemy” (a word I first heard when one of my students chose to describe someone or something that is both a Friend and Enemy. A word I have since used many times). In other words, it is both a friend and a foe.

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"Fear is a Friend when it stops you from doing the things you shouldn't do

Fear is an Enemy when it stops you from doing the things you should do"


When people use any kind of tactic to manipulate someone, into doing something they would not normally do it is called “Boundary-Lowering”. It is a form of manipulation that has been used by bad people not just strangers for a long time.

In fact, the term Danger Stranger has been outmoded for some time. Although it has its uses to describe certain people in certain situations, it has long been known that those who are vulnerable, including kids, are so much more from those they know than those they don't know. It is therefore critical to understand Boundary-lowering tactics in order to teach others how to see through them.

Good Knowledge

Gavin de Becker is a violence prediction expert and best-selling author. In his ground-breaking and mind opening book , "Gift of Fear" he sets out a list of such tactics. This is a must-read for any intelligent and self-respecting self-defence proponent.

Irene van der Zande, Kidpower Executive Director, in her article: Boundary-Lowering Tactics to Understand takes the time to give detail to that list

Both the article and the book deserve your time. Do not be lulled into a sense of false security by thinking that since you have taught your kids about Danger Stranger that they are safe from such things. It takes very little to become more aware. Having knowledge always brings greater freedom and having correct knowledge always helps peace of mind.

Unlike popular media, this is good knowledge. Go and expand your knowledge and peace of mind now

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