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Dealing With Bullies: Your Reaction Has Consequences

The Down Side Of Dealing With Bullies

I teach all my students that there are only 2 places that where they can use their Judo:
  1. When they are in the Dojo
  2. When they are very very very scared

As an added precaution I also tell them, that if they are not certain if they are scared enough, that means they have time to think and if they have time to think before they act, they should ask themselves one simple question: "Is it worth it"?

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Stand Tall: Respect and Affect
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It is an unfortunate fact of life that it doesn't matter how justified you are in reacting bullying situation, it is more than probable that you are the one that is going to get into trouble, not the offender; even if your reaction was not physical.

As distasteful as I find the above situation, I also am convinced that a physical reaction should be a last resort and that whilst it may be necessary, often it will not bring about a long term solution.

This begs the question: "If violence is that last resort what then is our first?".

It may surprise some but the answer is "be confident".

There are many things that you can do or say that may defuse a situation and I teach my students lots of them but without confidence few, if any response is effective if it is not backed with confidence.

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As A lifeguard I have defused many a situation without a single word or action but simply by being confident. This is what I think Danial Sun meant when Mr Miyagi asked him in "Why you learn Karate" and Danial sun said, "So that I never have to use it" (from the movie "Karate Kid 2" I think). If you have trained well, a lot of times, people will notice, and back down so you don't have to use what you have learned.

But in this situation, that means you should not only learn Judo but also how to speak and how to walk; which is also something I teach my students.

I was reminded of this when I read an article from Kid power

The article presents the reader with a holistic approach to self-defence and if you are concerned about dealing with bullying, it is well worth a read.

By the way, I also tell my Judo students that in any bullying situation I will be on their side, for what it is worth in our society, provided they can tell me that they were very very very scared, even if I am the only person on their side.

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