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Discipline and Respect In A Judo Class

Discipline and Respect In A Judo Class

Discipline and respect in a Judo class as in life requires 3 things Be Available, Listen, Believe and Act If Necessary. You cannot expect respect and it is an integral part of discipline. 

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Be Available, Listen, Believe and Act If Necessary

You are a very special person in your student's life. Don't betray that! If you are always talking or helping someone else; if you only ever tell them what to do and not hear what they have to say; if you accuse them of being a telltale when they complain about others' actions and you never act on anything they say, then forget it, you can never discipline that child.

Where there is no respect there is no discipline.

Be available, listen, believe and act if necessary: this is the beginning of all relationships and relationships are what good discipline is built on.

Respect Is Earned Not Divinely Bestowed”

Respect For Your Leaders

The Golden Rule will never be outmoded and should never be overruled.“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” is the ultimate expression of respect (The Good News Translation of the Bible puts it “Do for others just what you want them to do for you.” Luke 6:31). The quickest way to lose the respect of your leaders and students for that matter, is to ask them to do something or behave in a way that you would not be willing to, should you be in their shoes.

I say “in their shoes” because if I respect them I will try to understand where they are coming from. Trying to see things their way will reduce the risk of misunderstanding.

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If my students see me disrespecting my leaders I have no hope of managing misbehaviour. More than that if my leaders respect me, that will show. Respected leaders will always follow instructions much more readily than disrespected ones; if for no other reason then they will be confident because they know that you have their back.

Let me try to give you an example:

I was working at a centre at which I was given increasingly more and more responsibility. You would think this would be a good thing except it was not because it only increased my workload for no additional reward and proportionately decreased the workload of the person doing the delegating so that they did less and less. It was clear that the reason I was being given that responsibility was because the person allocating it was unwilling to do it themselves. Instead of improving the running of the organization, all it did was breed resentment.

The lesson is that the only time you delegate your work is to make the running of things more efficient, not so that you can be lazy. That is, if doing something yourself makes things less efficient pass it on, otherwise do it yourself.

Respect Of Your Students And Leaders Enough To Say Sorry

Sooner or later you will mess up: you have to be courageous and confident enough to be willing to say sorry. I am not the perfect leader, no one is; despite the impression the media gives. I have learned that it is a strange rule of life and leadership, that you will: learn more, make fewer mistakes and people will follow your instructions more readily if you allow yourself to be vulnerable. When you make mistakes, say sorry and move on.

Do Not Disrespect Your Students, Leader or Helpers

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I make every endeavour not to discipline a student, leader or helper in front of others, particularly other students. Unless what they are doing is dangerous and needs to be stopped before someone gets hurt, always try and take a child who has committed a significant offence aside or have a quiet word in their ear, rather than speaks to them in front of everyone.

Having said that, there are times when embarrassing a student was the only thing left to try to bring them back in line. But this is a very last resort because if it doesn’t work and it usually doesn't, there is a pretty good chance that the student will not come back.

Honestly, if you have reached the point of needing to embarrass a student, you would have to see something in this student really worth fighting for, otherwise, you are much better off asking them to leave than doing this. Multiple uses of this technique will only build resentment or the student may end up basking in the limelight and in both cases, the tool backfires on you.

Making Mistakes

I kind of dealt with this in the introduction but it is important and needs to be clear. We will make mistakes, but as long as we are willing to repent (that is acknowledge them, genuinely apologize for them and make every effort to not make that mistake again) the kids will forgive us, appreciate us and respect us even more for it.

You may not like the religious connotations of such a word but I'm here to tell you that repentance and forgiveness are one of the main pillars of a good relationship with kids.

Despite the common concept of the leader having to be perfect, you cannot expect kids to turn from their misbehaviour if you are not. They have a very well-developed sense of justice (I sometimes wonder if they are born with it) and if you betray that they will not reward you with good behaviour.

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