You Can't Do Good Judo If You Can't Take Responsibility
It really ticks me off that more and more we seem to be living in a society that is becoming more and more polarized when it comes to the attitudes we have to our children. On the one hand, society is raising a generation that has a sense of entitlement; believing they are inherently deserving of privileges or special treatment and on the other a society that blames the Innocent because we refuse to take responsibility ourselves.
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When did we go to the idea that because life is unfair that means children deserve whatever happens to them!
Regardless of which attitude children are subjected to, Judo is one sport that can be effective in combating both.
In my Judo classes, I teach the children that "If you can't do a throw It's your fault". That may sound a bit harsh but it is not meant to be. Think about it, in order to do good Judo you have to take responsibility and improve your skill not blame your partner.
It is a lesson that is vital to life and your survival in it. Life is not fair and you do have to get used to it but you don't need to be defeated by it. Judo teaches us to confront the challenges and look for ways to overcome them. Blaming the other player serves no purpose and will only lead to defeat. Whereas even if you never manage to beat your opponent, by constantly looking for a way to overcome you are constantly benefiting because you are improving learning and getting better.
Yes "life is not fair and you do have to get used" to it but that in no way diminishes the special nature of the student.
Each student is unique and that can be shown by how each student will have their own unique approach to doing Judo. Some will be better at some throws and not others; some will be better at groundwork than others; there may even be some that do not excel at anything but they have such a heart they keep on trying. This makes each Judoka (Judo student) unique and special, just by being who they are.
In fact, the reason why so many people, not just children, are having problems with being bullied around is that they don't have confidence and that requires a certain sense of being special.
But that special nature will always find difficulty in expressing itself in "entitlement" because if you are going to succeed in Judo you have to work for it. Hence "If you can't do the throw it is your fault".
You can't, of course, apply the statement above to practice because that requires cooperation. But that carries with it, it's own sense of humility. In that, if you don't cooperate you don't learn. You have to submit yourself to your partner. So the dictum becomes "if your partner can't do the throw it's your fault" because you have not helped her/him by cooperating.
But consider the inverse if you have not cooperated with your partner, they may choose to not cooperate with you and although that is far from ideal, as no one is learning properly the result is that now "if you can't do the throw it's your fault".
Judo students have no choice if they want to succeed; they have to take responsibility for their actions and we should expect the same for the world that surrounds us and them.