Speaking Tones - State of Mind & Personal Presence

It's all about your Speaking Tones

If the anger of the ruler rises against you, do not leave your place,
for calmness will lay great offenses to rest. (Ecclesiastes 10:4 ESV)
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I'll confess I am far from perfecting this yet but I have had enough experience in confronting volatile situations that I know your tone of voice is by far and away your best, first option in self defense, running a judo class or dealing with the public.

That is not to say that it's always going to achieve your objective but you can be sure that it will have an effect.

I have seen huge angry men, turn into willing compliant customers and wild uncontrollable children turn into calm obedient students, all because they were spoken to in a tone of voice that they felt they could respond to.

Using the correct speaking tones IS about being in a state of mind and being in the correct state of mind generates a personal presence that people will respond to.

Just what is that state of mind?

Well it depends to some degree on the situation. But largely it is about being calm in a situation.

I read a lot about self defense and as part of that research I have read a book called "Forgiving Dead Man Walking".

This woman managed to survive in the most horrific of circumstances. She believed that there was intervention from God. You may reject that thought I personally don't reject it; in fact I would contend that her personal faith was a major factor in her being able to stay calm. But leaving aside her faith, as far as I can work out, staying calm and use the correct speaking tones seems to be the only factor that managed to keep her a live.

Was it the perfect self defense?

Not even close because she was raped multiple times and made to confront the most disturbing of events yet she managed to survive when the man who abducted her had already murdered all of the other he had abducted.

Image of calm water with ripples:correct Speaking Tones can promote calmness
Calmness Can Be Practiced
A friend once asked me why the children we were looking after obeyed me without a moments thought but not him. I replied in all good friendship that it was because I expected them to do what I said whereas he was always convinced they wouldn't. I had a calm state of mind and a personal presence as a result of my expectations, he did not.

Calmness can be practiced and when you practice calmness you also practice personal presence. Police officers and many other authority figures practice this all the time. A state where because you remain calm, others look to you for guidance and where others will be disobeyed you may be obeyed.

It's a very easy thing to practice. When you are alone think about all the things that make you calm and peaceful. Think on them long and hard. Breath deeply as you think. Think about the correct speaking tones when you are calm as you do so, concentrate on how you felt and feel. Remember those feelings and recall them when you are next under stress and don't forget to breath as you do as you speak.

It's worth learning, the best Judo players are calm besides, it may save you life one day.

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